Jokes are us!

Andy has put the marker down for us all with an incredible array of top class jokes on his profile humor slot

Forget Britains Got Talent... the time has come for the KMGC forum users to up the ante and see who can cause the greatest degree of groansome jokes... I have just thrown my name into the hat with a suitable example...

(if you don't know where to look, just check out the Memberlist link at the top of the page... but be warned... sides will split when you load up the page)

Freebird wrote:Andy has put the marker down for us all with an incredible array of top class jokes on his profile humor slot

Forget Britains Got Talent... the time has come for the KMGC forum users to up the ante and see who can cause the greatest degree of groansome jokes... I have just thrown my name into the hat with a suitable example...

(if you don't know where to look, just check out the Memberlist link at the top of the page... but be warned... sides will split when you load up the page)

Glad you spotted them! Just seen yours-
You can also click on someone's name to see their profile!

One a day, feed them corn!

One armed Butlers!

Off to Spain now, so you'll have to miss out on some fresh humour!

Have a good week all & pick me a good 'un in the Matchplay Sean

andy ex wrote:Off to Spain now, so you'll have to miss out on some fresh humour!

Have a good week all & pick me a good 'un in the Matchplay Sean

Have a great time Andy!

DT wrote:

andy ex wrote:Off to Spain now, so you'll have to miss out on some fresh humour!

Have a good week all & pick me a good 'un in the Matchplay Sean

Have a great time Andy!

Thanks Marion, I did!
Back to work this morning at 6 though.

The levels of humour on display in the profile sections have just taken a shocking nose dive thanks to Andy's latest post... roll on the 15th August when his boys take one hell of a beating!!!

Freebird wrote:The levels of humour on display in the profile sections have just taken a shocking nose dive thanks to Andy's latest post... roll on the 15th August when his boys take one hell of a beating!!!

I thought you'd appreciate it!
Seriously, I don't like it when WH play away at newly promoted clubs, we tend to lose.

Hey Andy... I posted that bowling joke a few weeks ago!!!

DT wrote:Hey Andy... I posted that bowling joke a few weeks ago!!!

Aargh! You never spotted my ice cream man who topped himself a few weeks back though!
Both classics worth repeating!

My apologies! I will change my joke immediately!

DT wrote:My apologies! I will change my joke immediately!

Where on earth is Sean getting his from?

Great joke Sue, really made me chuckle!!

Thanks DT, I quite like this one too

A man walks into a dentist's office and says, "Excuse me, can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."
Man: "Yes, I know."
Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"
Man: "The light was on...."

A man drives to a petrol station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the museum."

I took my kids to a zoo & the only animal they had there was a dog!!


It was a Shih-tzu

Nice to see FB first in with the Hedgehog joke!

andy ex wrote:Nice to see FB first in with the Hedgehog joke!

Couldn't resist having seem it on line earlier today... top stuff

Freebird wrote:

andy ex wrote:Nice to see FB first in with the Hedgehog joke!

Couldn't resist having seem it on line earlier today... top stuff

Didn't prefer the Rose West one then?

Thanks to FB - a work colleague's new nickname is Slinky!

Fb that latest joke is outrageous!

An oldy but goldy from the World Cup 2006.... still sadly apt!!

It is just before the England v Brazil match. Ronaldinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're sh*te and we can't be bothered."

Ronaldinho looks at them and says

"Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself-you lads go down the pub."

So Ronaldinho goes out to play England by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars.

After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads

"Brazil 1 - England 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes)".

He is beating England all by himself!

A few pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on."

They put the teletext on. "Result from the Stadium 'Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes) - England 1 (Lampard 89 minutes)."
They can't believe it; he has single-handedly got a draw against England!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho.

They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands.

He refuses to look at them.

"I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"

"No, no, I have, I've let you down ... I got sent off after 12 minutes."

A classic but sadly close to the truth, apart from the Frank Lampard scoring bit!